What good have you done, lately?

Mar's blog "Just be Nice" inspired to me to inquire after the altruistic audience. I know normally it isn't appropriate to go around blabbing to the world the good, sincere, and altruistic acts you have performed in the past, present. or even planned for the future. But, I'm curious. I might, and others as well, might learn from your entry of things we can do, too, to help others.

These acts can be something as small and seemingly insignificant as asking someone if they needed a ride, to actually giving your lunch to a man in an overcoat during the hot summer who was holding a trashbag of aluminum cans.

Here's what I did this past week: I prevented a kid in my research lab from taking a horrible horrible class with a horrible horrible teacher. Yes, success. One life, not ruined next semester.

You can (but don't have to) totally be anonymous here, so please contribute:

What good have you done lately?

Can I keep it?

Ooh, I love it. I sometimes get into these crazy artsy fartsy moods, and go all out on these "projects," half of which I finish 6 months to some years later. I still haven't finished a Masallo I started about 2 years ago.

Anyway, Yoko & I got charged up to do some sewing projects. I really wanted a cover for my sofa, so I thought, Baby steps; let's start small, like with a pillow cover or something. We dropped in on a store, and figured we'd make something for a friend, for fun. We ended up splitting the cost for 2 different patterns. One for pillows (that go on chairs) and one for hand bags. I took the latter home, and she the former. Six to seven months later, I finally finished the project, while Yoko's out at CMU making new friends, I'm getting to know my sewing machine better and paypal, need I say more, is my Buddy. I've been buying threads (embroidery & regular) off ebay like crazy.

Anyway, after I finished the hand bag, or, when I noticed I might actually be able to finish this sucker before I lose interest again, I thought to myself (and said aloud to Hasnain), "Can I keep it?" I know, I know, I intended the hand bag, purse, duffle purse, as I like to call it, for Emily, or M for short, really short. She's a crazy fun friend from Cali. But, I fell in love with my own flawed, thread-hanging, duffle purse. Ugh! I want it!

Some may say, "Well, if you like it that much, make another one." Yeah, right! Like that's going to happen. I've always been able to do things ONCE in a spectacular way. Every time I try to replicate something that I've done well, it's always been less than nice. People may expect it, I even do, but whatever it is, from a calendar collage, to a wedding album, to a scrapbook, to a masallo w/sujni, once & that's it. Anyway, I think I might make a pillow out of that combination of colors though. I think that would be fun for college bound kids. Yay, B-day present.

I guess my question is, when you walk out of the mall with the perfect gift, and you think for a split second, Wow, that would look great on my side table, hmmm. Can you, are you allowed to modify your niyyat? your intention? Isn't that contrary to the meaning of intention? Your primary purpose for whatever action you are going to perform (or performed)?

Not to worry, the duffle purse is already in a manila envelope on it's way over to the Golden State. Ain't that Peachy? (If you didn't already know, Georgia is the Peach State).

Next time you pick up or plan to give someone something, make clear in writing what your intentions are. I'm telling you, for people with a "not so strong" will-power, it's for the best!

(Marya, I know you'll have some comment about me giving you stuff that I ended up keeping, yes yes, I can name a few... no need to elaborate. You know what, go ahead, elaborate, "swim in it, until your fingers get all pruny"--French Kiss, hahaha)

Ebay addict

Ebay-ing is such an addicting act. I didn't notice the time fly by, but the moment you realize you need something that you're willing to buy or could possibly be found on Ebay, the whole day passes you by without even a stretch of the leg. Okay, well maybe a couple stretches; how else are you going to sit for hours on end staring at a computer screen comparing prices and shipping costs all day?

The problem with Ebaying is that once you've located the item you wish to purchase or bid on, your mind automatically starts wondering what else in the house you may need. Does your husband, child, mother, brother need anything? It's a one stop shop...ing spree more like it. Anyway, from selling to buying, and buying to more buying. It's like walking through an arcade room to get to the coke machine. You have to drop a few quarters here and there and play a few games in the process. (I would have used a casino example, but "we don't do that." Right. )

Again, just like the arcades, you go in knowing you're going to spend a certain amount. You have to log on to Ebay the exact same way: with a pre-determined amount that you are willing to spend, and just let it rip.

You know you're going crazy with Ebay when you enlist in the "Help" function. Oh, no, you don't want to go there. Paypal is now officially your Buddy. Get out while you can, or make sure you have a Designated (Sober) buyer who is able to turn the sirens on when you're getting out of control; who can take you into the other room, and give you a bowl of ice-cream with hershey's chocolate syrup on top to get your mind off the minute to minute closing deals and last minute bids on Ebay.

Shy girl turns spotlight lover

Who would have thought, the girl who hid behind her father's leg when she was 5 would turn out to be an attention seeker, and lover of the limelight. My sister and brother, and of course mother have always been one of those people who handle the center stage really well. They tell stories really well. They initiate the conversations, and they are definitely the lives of the parties (Unless Taha or Luby's in the room.)

But, me, I was the quiet one. Or at least I thought. I was probably about 14 when I "came out." Yes, I began to take the initiative, I began to shine. I began to take on the limelight. It was around the time Marya left for Jamea, and I was left to take on "her" duty of being the life. haha. Or something.

It could be that I always was an attention seeker from a very young age. Like my little cousin, Buruj, when she was 3 years old, she would walk out of the bedroom after having taken a shower and getting dressed and she would purposely stand outside the door, waiting for compliments on her hair, her dress, her smile, her stockings. This picture is her at age 5. We told her to jump on the couch and pretend to be Cleopatra. I didn't even think she knew who Cleopatra was, and she gave a perfect picture pose. Buruj has a lot of characteristics that are taken straight from my genes. So, the more I think about it, the more I believe that I have always been an attention seeker.

The most famous or infamous of my lines is "I feel neglected." A common quote I use when with my siblings. I think I just go on talking not realizing what/when the appropriate time to speak would be. The use of that sentence, I guess, is evidence for my needy attention requirements. I came up with a new line based on the RESPECT song by Otis Redding, "N-E-G-L-E-C-T, Find out what it means to me, N-E-G-L-E-C-T! Sock it to me, sock it to me" (or something like that) Usually these tactics don't work either. They just muster a laugh or two, and then everyone's back to their normal game.

The point of this blog:

Anyway, I recently spent time with two different groups and felt like I had more fun with one group than the other (in retrospect.) I thought to myself, why? And then I realized it.

The group with whom I supposedly felt I had less fun with was a group in which I was treated as an equal to all the others in the group, as friends. No one more special than the next. Still fun, and good to hang out with, but I wasn't seen as special.

The group with whom I supposedly felt I had incredible fun with was a group in which I was treated incredibly special. I was the in limelight, the center of attention. I was the one initiating the jokes, I was the one people came to to joke around with. It was non-stop laughter. Maybe I was a novelty for them, and so they enjoyed it even more. Maybe, they were to me. I don't know, but it was a blast.

I know this sounds ridiculous, that the more special I feel, the more I enjoy the event. Is that just down right, flattery? Does this mean, I'm incredibly influenced by flattery? I've always liked "ta'areef," but never thought I let it go to my head. But, here, I noticed a distinct difference in my behavior and perspective when I was and was not being flattered. I guess the fact that people wanted to hang out with me was a point of flattery too. That we were all having soo much fun, that I took that as a compliment of my own doing (for some odd [more like retarded] reason.)

My whole point to this is, if you'd like me to have fun when I'm with you, flatter me. And you'll have me thinking you're the best!


*Find the lyrics to Otis Redding's Respect song @
http://lyrics.rare-lyrics.com/O/Otis-Redding/Respect.html
*ta'areef = compliment