The Non-Wiki Diet

Just a little update on what's going on with me. I've been back for just over 1 week, now; and, I'll have you know that I have not used Wikipedia ONCE. I've made my new semester's resolution: I'm on the non-wikipedia diet.

I know I should technically have weaned myself off it, as there are generally strong withdrawal effects. There is a 10% chance of going into wikipedrawal shock in which the receptors are upregulated because of non-stimulation of the high number of wikiceptors. The student generally presents with malaise, tiredness, memory loss, confabulations, confusion, stupor and on rare occasions may experience paroxysmal nocturnal wikyspnea, in which the student wakes up in the middle of the night with shortness of breath and is unable to return to sleep unless having visited the wikipedia site. This illness is fairly easy to remedy . The use of a pharmacodynamic website (i.e. wikipedia analog) mimics the website's functions, and acts on the wiki-ceptors of the limbic system thereby relieving the withdrawal effects.