What?! Unbelievable! Come on, Pssshhhh.
What?! Unbelievable! Come on, pssshhh.
What?! Unbelievable! Come on, Pssshhhh.
What?! Unbelievable! Come on, Pssshhhh.
What?! Unbelievable! Come on, Pssshhhh.
What?! Unbelievable! Come on, Pssshhhh.
Did I tell you that Hasnain & I finally made a decision, I'll be heading out to the Caribbean for a year and a half for Medical School. Yup, I'm going. I'm heading out end of April, and am as excited a bunny. Those little furry suckers have a lot of energy under their fur.
Since I'll be gone for about a year and a half, and since Hasnain probably won't be in Atlanta for very much longer, this means I have to say my good-byes to EVERYONE here. SO, we decided to do all the things we said we'd do, but haven't done yet, now. We have four weekends, and everyone one of them is going to be packed with adventure. Okay, maybe not adventure, but loads of people.
So, we decided to invite some people over for dinner yesterday.
1-One couple is our very next door neighbor, who are Bangladeshi, whom we've barely spoken to except if we both happen to be entering/exiting our vehicles at the exact same time, nice, fun people. The husband is a CS PhD student at Tech, just like Hasnain, but for a different Prof.
2-Our other neighbor who lives one floor above and two doors to the left of us, is a lebanise physician doing his residency in ATL, cool guy. He handed us front row basketball tickets once for a game that had started 5 minutes ago, and we took it. The game was lame, unfortunately the Hawks suck, but it was a cool experience sitting behind the sports casters, and the coach and teammates. Having their sweat splash on you.
3- A Pakistani friend and his mom, since we'd never invited her, we thought what the hell, why not. This did add some pressure, she is an Aunty afterall, but she's was cool.
4-Hasnain's labmate, her husband and 2.5 year old child, Anova, too Cute! They're bangladeshi as well, and happen to be friends of our next door bangladeshi neighbors.
The night before I did nothing except lounge around, pick up the chicken breast, and confirm what it was I was going to be cooking, so that meant indulging in Rachel Ray's cook book!..Foodnetwork.
I had actually written this a long long time ago (2 weeks ago) and I already forgot what the point of it was, but it was a fun night, where we got to meet some really down to earth, funny bangladeshis..
Oh and, you pronounce the language as Bangali, like bun-gaal-i, not ben-gaal-i.
English mein kehthe hain ke I love you,
Gujrati mein kehte hain, mein tamne prem karu choon,
Bangali mein kehte hain, ami tamalo bhalo bashi,
aur punjabi mein kehte hain, teri to, mein tere marjavan, something someting something .. teri.
Yes, and we did some singing of course. Food was good. Company was great. And overall the night was a success.
Thanks nazrul maqam, you is the best.
Support me in the Walk for Autism.
I recently accepted the challenge of walking in the Walk for Autism fund-raising event. The Walk will benefit individuals affected by autism through funding programs and services of the Marcus Institute and Autism Speaks.
I am asking you to help by supporting my fund raising efforts with a donation. Your tax-deductible gift will make a difference. Together we can make a difference in the lives of individuals and their families affected by autism. It is faster and easier than ever to support this great cause - you can make your donation online by simply clicking on the link at the bottom of this message. If you would prefer, you can also send your tax-deductible contribution to the address listed below. More information on Autism Speaks, its programs and autism in general can be found at their website: www.autismspeaks.org. To learn more about how the Marcus Institute aids individuals and families with disabilities, visit www.marcus.org.
Any amount, great or small, helps. I greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.
Thanks!
Lulua
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For a person who was able to make it to mostly everyone's special occasions, ironically, I'm now going to not be able to make it to some of the more important and closest of family events:
In chronological order:
My in-laws visit to Amreeca.
My brother's daughter's 1st B-day party.
My husband's brother's son's graduation party.
My husband's graduation (IA).
AND
Our move to where-ever my husband gets a job.
These are events regarding people who are all with less than 0ne degree of separation from me and/or Hasnain. Literally. Hasnain's mom & dad. My brother. Hasnain's brother. Hasnain!!
On a positive note, at least I'm not missing out on any weddings.
2.5 years ago, we received a wall clock as a wedding present. This wall clock, isn't just any old wall clock, it's an ATOMIC clock; that is, the clock hanging above our TV receives a signal from the National Atomic Clock in Fort Collins, Colorado. Now, the beautiful aspect of this clock is that on days when there is a time change due to day light savings time, the clock changes time on it's own. That's right, when we wake up and check our side table time, it's one hour behind the "atomic clock" time. So, we know, something special happened today.
The weird thing is throughout the day, the clock resets to the previous (now incorrect time) throwing you completely off! And it does it all on it's own. This is an analog clock, so the hands literally start spinning clockwise (on it's own.) When the apartment is quiet, and you all of a sudden hear a vibrating noise, you follow the sound with your ear, and see that the clock is ALIVE!
Anyway, it'll happen one more time tonight, while it resets to the proper as based on the signal received from Colorado.
The first time we had friends over, we had to take the batteries out and have it reset in front of them for them to believe that the clock hands start rotating on their own. That was a funny scene. We should have video taped it. We're crazy-weird like that.
I cannot think of a time, where I had to make a decision on my own. I mean, I think I've always just followed everyone's advice, and just gone with the flow. I've never really had to go against the grain.
I know a few people who have, and I have MAD respect for them. It's hard. Just thinking about it gives me a headache. I quince at the thought of ever having to do it. But sometimes, it's necessary, as I've seen in some close ones. And not only do I have them on a pedestal, they're standing on it, with head high facing their loved ones as if they've conquered the world!
I kind of believe that. Once you've conquered the domains of yourself, what else is left to fear? Like Delphi said, "Know thyself."
Time closes in.
School rolls in.
A fog of anxiety casts a shadow.
I'm traveling to an exotic country, beginning an arduous adventure, my belly is fluttering with butterflies, and I can't calm my nerves. Right now, I'm positioned on the couch watching my breathing in a serene condition and yet, inside, processes are churning through tumultuous pathways. I'm excited. Scared. Hopeful. In Wonderment. What will our lives lead to next? Can I be successful at this? Will I be successful?
Sit down. Buckle up. And put your hands in the air and scream. Wide-eyed, jaw-dropping enthusiasm! Here we go. We're going to be in for a ride.
It's a good feeling to have someone be there with you throughout all this, that is, if I go.
So there is a slight possibility that I might be going back to school. It's been a "lifelong dream" that keeps evolving then returning to it's natural state every now and again, that is, to become a doctor.
It's funny, when I was single, I told my mom that she didn't have to worry about having to find me a guy, that's I would find him on my own, and basically indicated that it'd be a "love" marriage (in the colloquial manner we use it.) But, right after that conversation, as my cousin and I stayed up all night discussing our roles in life after we each had found our mystery men: younger bhabis, older bhabis, only bahus of the household, living with/without our parents, location, status, occupation, I ended up telling K. nonchalantly, that although I'm saying I'm going to find him on my own, I'd probably end up following the "match-made" path, through a type of arrange marriage. And guess what ended up happening? just that, an arrange marriage.
The same applies to my career aspirations. All my life, from before I can even remember, I've wanted to become a doctor, and as I've grown, and as I've molded into different roles in life, my aspirations have change. I no longer aspire to become a doctor, even though I may be leaving to attend Med school.
Instead, some of the things I wish for everyday is being a good wife, a good mother, and raising a good, healthy, and decent family.
I once had a deep conversation with E. about fears. My immediate response was that I feared raising children. No, I'm not pregnant; no, we're not planning in the super near future; but, at some point in time, when we do begin raising our children, I hope we do it right. I hope in the end, we make right decisions, that lead to helping our kids rather than hurting them in their future. By helping, I don't mean spoiling, in contrast, I mean teaching them to make roti, rather than buying the Malaysia Paratha packets for them (variation of the feed for a day/ feed for a life--rather than catch fish for them, teach how to fish.)
So, sometimes this dream of treating a portion of the pediatric population gets wiped off the slate and substituted by raising a portion of the pediatric population. I know the two are not mutually exclusive. Both are possible. My siblings and I are living proof. Even in dire conditions, with one guardian, it's possible. How can it not, with such a considerate and honorable partner like mine? Sometimes my thinking of him encourages me to try for the latter dream than the former. But, he makes me feel like it is possible to have an all-encompassing career and be a good parent and partner.
partners r parents. That's interesting.
So, I recently drove to work without actually consciously driving to work. I mean, I got in the car, and I really don't know what I was thinking about, and I don't remember making conscious decisions to turn here or there or to take this exit or that. I was on auto pilot. Is that possible? How can I not be wary of neighboring drivers? It was raining today, how could I not have noticed the rain, and have a heightened sense of awareness? I somehow knew it was raining. I had a waterproof jacket on and an umbrella in my hand. But how is it that 25 minutes could have passed completely undetected by my conscience radar?
I wonder if some people go through their lives on auto pilot? Like Adam Sandler's character did in Click? Do you think our mental state could be that disconnected from our physical presence? I guess that may be the point of 'daydreaming'. But the most known cases of daydreaming occur when the body is in an almost immobile state (e.g. sitting in class staring at the white board, lying in bed staring up at the ceiling, etc.) but not when you're actually performing multiple behaviors.
Maybe it is possible. Some can listen to music and study at the same time. Some can drive and talk on the phone (maybe not safely, but still without accident), and some can drive home and end up in a Walmart parking lot unphased, undisturbed, and completely at a loss as to what they came there for. I do know some people who have difficulty drinking a soda and walking, so maybe it's not the end of the world.
But, it's like putting the cereal box in the fridge and the milk gallon in the pantry, or throwing away the candy and putting the wrapper in your mouth. We perform these set of behaviors until they become automatic, and then we need someone to just put a quarter in us, and our contraption gets that jolt, and follows through until completion, unless prematurely interrupted. No I'm not referring to intercourse here, people! I'm referring to the ability for us to LEARN. Our neurons become stronger and stronger the more automatic sets of connections (or behaviors, or sequences) become. In essence, we're driven to become automatic.
Imagine if we had to re-learn the alphabet every time we wanted to write something. That would be nearly impossible. We had to automatize the alphabet, ingrain them in ourselves so that we may improve ourselves further. Is that how we reach enlightenment then? By automatizing our material world to a point where we are completely unphased by any occurrence, and only are aware of novel experiences in the spiritual or enlightened realm?
Does any of this make sense, or is it all humbug?
