There

About 8 months ago, a friend of mine was dismissed from medical school. He had failed over 2 classes and was not given another chance to repeat the semester. Now, he only informed a select few, and I was not one of them. I found out about it from one of his close friends, but I kept it to myself, and did not let him know that I knew, up until the last day. That night, it just so happened, that I was getting dinner from Stahbox, where he and some of our mutual friends were eating their Last Supper together on the island. It turns out, it wasn't his last supper here, but still, it was still memorable.

Anyway, we all joined them, and sat on the couches eating pizza while reading a book that was on the bookshelf in the corner. The book was special. It was a kind of.. ice breaker type book. One where you ask each other questions to find out their inner truths, or the extent of their imagination.

One such question posed was, "If a word could describe you, what word would you be found under if looked up in the dictionary?"

Of course, every spurted out responses for everyone else, "wacky, goofy, calm, juvenile, docile" and many more. When it came to the word I'd be found under, this friend of mine, mentioned "There."

Lulua is "there" when you need her, she'll be there when you're unstable, or can't handle something, but the minute you've gained control, she's gone. She could be physically there, standing right there with you and your group, but mentally, she's out somewhere else. When you don't need her, she switches off.

I thought about this. Is this really true? Am I really only present in mind, when I perceive someone in need of some assistance?

Lately, I've succumbed to accusations of lack of consideration and obliviousness. On the one had, I usually think I'm very observant and in tune with people's inner thoughts. But if I think about it, I usually only pay attention to those who are "different." Those who are quiet in a loud, obnoxious crowd. Those who are funny with wit rather than crude humor. Those who look differently, dress differently, behave differently, respond differently, think differently.

But those who are normal, or who seem to blend in with the crowd, I have absolutely NO idea how to read them. They're the ones who are experts at social situations and know how to respond in socially appropriate manners. I usually take no heed to them. For some reason, I don't even care at times, seemingly. I've never been aware of this. But, now, as I recall the times I've been "intrigued" by someone, attracted towards someone, it's usually because that person is "different." More intelligent, is off-beat, unusual, awkward, diligent, shy, bold, or even one who has a way with words, art, food, or mannerisms.

Maybe this all has to with habituation. Something that we all are victims of . You press on your hand with a constant force for a long enough period of time, your hand will not feel the pressure after a while.

You stare out at one item without moving your eyes, it disappears. (actually that's really impossible to do b/c your eye muscles are constantly twitching and moving your eye ) .

Is this the law of diminishing returns, quite possibly. You taste pizza for the first time, and are dazzled by the flavors. After your fourteenth slice (ever) it's never as good as it was before.

You drive through a neighborhood and see the cookie cutter houses, all lined up in a row all the same, until you stop for a second when you see the house in the middle painted a color that is completely out of the intensity range of the others, it's bolder, the edges of the house are sharper, the material is different, the windows are placed in different places, with a different shape. Your eye, your interest, your level of intrigue just spiked a few notches. Something different from the norm.

So, because I take interest in things that are different, am I really "there" ? Or do I consider those in need, helpless the "different " that captures my attention, interest, and my presence of being?

Interestingly enough, this friend of mine who was dismissed from my school, was consequently admitted into another, better school and will soon be a fabulous physician. All the best SC.