Shy girl turns spotlight lover

Who would have thought, the girl who hid behind her father's leg when she was 5 would turn out to be an attention seeker, and lover of the limelight. My sister and brother, and of course mother have always been one of those people who handle the center stage really well. They tell stories really well. They initiate the conversations, and they are definitely the lives of the parties (Unless Taha or Luby's in the room.)

But, me, I was the quiet one. Or at least I thought. I was probably about 14 when I "came out." Yes, I began to take the initiative, I began to shine. I began to take on the limelight. It was around the time Marya left for Jamea, and I was left to take on "her" duty of being the life. haha. Or something.

It could be that I always was an attention seeker from a very young age. Like my little cousin, Buruj, when she was 3 years old, she would walk out of the bedroom after having taken a shower and getting dressed and she would purposely stand outside the door, waiting for compliments on her hair, her dress, her smile, her stockings. This picture is her at age 5. We told her to jump on the couch and pretend to be Cleopatra. I didn't even think she knew who Cleopatra was, and she gave a perfect picture pose. Buruj has a lot of characteristics that are taken straight from my genes. So, the more I think about it, the more I believe that I have always been an attention seeker.

The most famous or infamous of my lines is "I feel neglected." A common quote I use when with my siblings. I think I just go on talking not realizing what/when the appropriate time to speak would be. The use of that sentence, I guess, is evidence for my needy attention requirements. I came up with a new line based on the RESPECT song by Otis Redding, "N-E-G-L-E-C-T, Find out what it means to me, N-E-G-L-E-C-T! Sock it to me, sock it to me" (or something like that) Usually these tactics don't work either. They just muster a laugh or two, and then everyone's back to their normal game.

The point of this blog:

Anyway, I recently spent time with two different groups and felt like I had more fun with one group than the other (in retrospect.) I thought to myself, why? And then I realized it.

The group with whom I supposedly felt I had less fun with was a group in which I was treated as an equal to all the others in the group, as friends. No one more special than the next. Still fun, and good to hang out with, but I wasn't seen as special.

The group with whom I supposedly felt I had incredible fun with was a group in which I was treated incredibly special. I was the in limelight, the center of attention. I was the one initiating the jokes, I was the one people came to to joke around with. It was non-stop laughter. Maybe I was a novelty for them, and so they enjoyed it even more. Maybe, they were to me. I don't know, but it was a blast.

I know this sounds ridiculous, that the more special I feel, the more I enjoy the event. Is that just down right, flattery? Does this mean, I'm incredibly influenced by flattery? I've always liked "ta'areef," but never thought I let it go to my head. But, here, I noticed a distinct difference in my behavior and perspective when I was and was not being flattered. I guess the fact that people wanted to hang out with me was a point of flattery too. That we were all having soo much fun, that I took that as a compliment of my own doing (for some odd [more like retarded] reason.)

My whole point to this is, if you'd like me to have fun when I'm with you, flatter me. And you'll have me thinking you're the best!


*Find the lyrics to Otis Redding's Respect song @
http://lyrics.rare-lyrics.com/O/Otis-Redding/Respect.html
*ta'areef = compliment