Enough is Enough

I've realized something, you know, something like an "epiphany" about Limits.

My main dilemma, or better word, problem, is that I don't know when to stop. When I'm helping someone, or giving a gift, or anything for someone else, I don't know how much is enough. I just keep giving, doing, saying, trying, helping, etc., without really realizing, "I think I should stop now."

There are people out there in the world who cannot sense pain. Physical pain. They have no nocireceptors (pain receptors), or they do, but they do not transmit any action potentials to/from the brain. Having receptors that sense pain allows us to know when and how to alleviate the harmful situation our body is in. By shifting our weight while standing in line, or by turning from side to side when we sleep, are all seemingly minor forms of the use of these receptors. Imagine bumping into the corner of the bed, or the nail protruding from the doorway frame, and not realizing you just cut yourself and are bleeding profusely. Again, instances of knowing that pain relates to some ailment in our physical being.

However, people who have no functional nocireceptors, do not know what their limits are to how much "pressure" their hips can withstand in a particular position while standing in line to be seated at a concert. How much is enough time on one leg? on the other?

Am I functionally lacking in a similar but different type of receptor? The receptor that sends a signal to your brain saying, "Alright, wrap up the advice giving, now," or "That gift is way to much for someone you barely met the other day," or "You know you can come home and stop intruding in on their lives now, and let them pack for their move to Oz," or "Stop being too motherly", and things like that. The last one is the most difficult one to control. Oh, I've gotten crap for that. Ever since I was 5 years old, I was nick-named: Dadima (grandma).

The thing about the advice, I've begun to learn, is recognizing the advice receiving person's reaction. If that person seems to become more distant (in conversation), then it's time to "wrap it up." And usually, I realize the reaction much later than I should have. haha. Sorry, all you unfortunate people. So, I guess I'm forming those neural interactions as I become more and more aware of the deficiency.

I know people appreciate my butting-in, but there is a limit. It's a good thing Hasnain is here to help me out with that. He's my "go to guy," and my biggest critic. He's the fella I can always count on to tell me the most brutal honest truth. Then I can cry, and say, "just tell me you like it," and then he'll give in to that, too. But, never without the truth. Hasnain's gotten much better at this truth telling business he's started. So, even when he wants to say something diplomatically (which I thank him a million times over for delicate matters) I can still tell what he's really thinking from his initial expression, the blank look he tries to keep on his face while he thinks about the "right" words to use. Thanks Dah-ling. I appreciate it.

He's my "Limit-man." He gives me that objective feedback I am dearly in need of when he says,

"Hey babe, BAS!"

*Bas means : stop, enough, no? Hey, actually what is bas's translation?
**For more Information on nocireceptors check out http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/pain.html